Most people reach a point in their healing journey when they feel stuck. You may feel that you don’t want or know how to move forward, or perhaps you keep ending up at the same place with a particular issue.

Some of you know what you’re stuck on, and even why, while some may have no idea what’s going on, just that you feel stymied as you try to move forward in life.

This is such a common experience on the journey of recovery from childhood trauma. It’s part of the normal ebb and flow of a healing path. Although commonplace and even expected, these roadblocks still require an active response on our part. 

Here are some ways to approach feeling stuck. Depending on where you are in your process, you’ll connect with some of these ideas more than others, so pay attention to what resonates with you.

1. Get curious 

In my experience, being stuck isn’t random or coincidental. 

A way to approach feeling stuck is to think in terms of resistance or self-protection. Experiencing some resistance is a normal part of the healing process. There’s a reason why we’ve avoided painful things for so long, and sometimes we can feel apprehensive about moving toward them. 

Rather than judge or try to push through feeling stuck, get curious about it.

 Ask yourself:

• What is being stuck doing for me?
• If I weren’t stuck, what would be the next thing to do?
• Am I experiencing the stuck feeling in my body? If that stuck feeling could speak, what would it say?

2. Practice acceptance

Acceptance is an essential tool in recovery, including when you feel stuck. Let me be clear: Acceptance doesn’t mean that you resign yourself to feeling stuck and that’s just the way it is. 

In this case, acceptance is acknowledging that you feel stuck as part of the healing process, rather than worrying about or judging it.

Worrying about being stuck can create a layer of angst on top of it. Then you end up focusing on the angst rather than being present to the experience, and that often leaves you feeling…more stuck.

3. Be patient

Being stuck can feel uncomfortable, and there can be a tendency to rush to a solution. However, if you do that, there will be no room for curiosity (point #1). 

Staying stuck indefinitely isn’t helpful, but if you try to find a quick solution, you may miss what the experience is trying to teach you. This is where trusting the process comes in handy—and where trusting the process can be really hard.

4. Avoid judgment

Although it is a go-to response for many of us, judging yourself for being stuck is never fruitful, and will often prolong the experience. 

This may manifest in thoughts like: Why am I not getting better faster? What’s wrong with me that this is taking so long? I need to get my act together.  

These kinds of thoughts can reinforce the stuck feeling and won’t let go anywhere but in circles.

5. Do the next indicated thing

Sometimes when you’re stuck, it can feel like you have to find THE right next step to move forward (which makes you feel more stuck because you don’t know what THE right thing is). 

Pick something and do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s something meaningful or tedious. Just go for it. Taking a step of some sort creates movement. Some ideas:

• Journal about the stuck feeling. What do you think and feel about it? When did you first notice it? Is there any part of you that’s afraid of being unstuck?

• Connect with the stuck feeling and express it creatively—paint, draw collage. See what you learn.

• Reach out to a recovery friend who is further down the road and ask if they’ll share experience, strength, and hope about their experiences of feeling stuck.
• Move your body—walk, hike, dance, walk across the room (yes, it can be that simple).

6. Do a sentence completion exercise (by hand, not on a device)

Most of my clients would tell you that a sentence completion exercise is one of my favorite tools in my therapist toolbox. It’s also a favorite for me personally.

It’s a writing exercise that often brings clarity to something you feel unclear about.

Here’s how it works: At the top of your page, write the start of a sentence, then finish it in a list form down the page. For this exercise, it’s important that you don’t write in narrative form. 

Write whatever comes to mind, even if it doesn’t make sense to you—try not to filter anything. Write until you’ve emptied your mind of all options. If you find that you get stuck after a sentence or two, then do a sentence completion with one (or both) of those and see if that starts the exercise back up. 

Example: If I wasn’t stuck, then…

1. I wouldn’t know what to do.
2. Things might change.
3. I might have to do something scary.
4. I’ll feel painful feelings.

Here are some sentences to try:

If I wasn’t stuck, then…

Being stuck keeps me from…

Being stuck allows me to…

7. Engage in a focused therapy experience

This one is for those of you who’ve been in regular therapy for a long time and have done extensive work around the impact of your childhood trauma.

You may be doing good work with an individual therapist but find that a standard 50-minute session doesn’t always allow for the depth of work essential to the healing process. Or perhaps you’re ready for deeper healing but no longer need ongoing therapy.

It’s not uncommon for folks who have done deep trauma work to occasionally need a “tune-up” or targeted support. Your healing and growth are lifelong processes, and when you stay open to continued growth, unhealed trauma will sometimes surface.

Maybe there hasn’t been a particular trigger, but there are parts of your story that you now feel ready to face. 

One of the most powerful ways to do this is in a counseling Intensive. They’re usually 3-5 days and can be in a group or as an individual. I offer an individual Intensive, but there are lots of good resources out there.

Feeling stuck in your healing process is a natural part of the journey, especially when navigating the complexities of trauma recovery. It’s essential to remember that this is not a failure but an opportunity for introspection and growth. 

Engaging in some sort of action—even the smallest step—can lead to newfound insights. 

Remember that healing is not a linear journey. Be gentle with yourself, honor your process, and remain open to the lessons that this feeling of being stuck might teach you.